Sunday, May 21, 2006

Closure

I can't believe that it is now the end of May. The project started developing during the month of December- 6 months ago. That seems like a really long time. It's with bittersweet sympathy to say that the film is finally completed. This project has definitely been the biggest undertaking that I've been involved with, due to the fact that everything became so time consuming. It's interesting to look back at what we thought the project was going to be, and to fast forward to now. It makes you realize how much you are really not in control of your own life and that the joy of life comes in the journey. I've really learned in all of this that if you are constantly looking for greater things in the future or back at things in the past, then you really miss half of life, and you could also miss out on what God is doing/saying in the present. That's been the main theme of this project. We had all these assumptions of what the film was going to be, and in the process of just living life and making the film, we were constantly blown away by how many good things came from just focusing on one day at at time.


I put the finishing touches on the film early last Thursday morning, and I'm not going to lie- I was really irritated and fed up with just little things taking so much time; I really just wanted to be done with the whole thing because it has become so life-consuming. I mean anything you work on for 6 months can get old, even if it's something that you really enjoy. But my whole attitude changed later that afternoon.

While I realize God has a plan, sometimes it's hard to see what was really going on until you look back at things. Just take my last week: Sunday lightning struck my house and damaged $5000 worth of my personal equipment- most of which affected the film. At the time I was really stressed and upset because the strike only really affected me and my editing equipment, none of my neighbors or roommates were affected at all. It almost seemed that the lightning was directly related to me, and frankly I was really upset. What was the point of my place getting hit by lightning? Why did I have to go through all sorts of trouble trying to work with the electrical company and insurance people, move out of my place, figure out another way to finish God's film, and try to leave for Mexico this next week. It just seemed like it was too much for me to handle. And truthfully, it was. But, I think sometimes in our lives we really need to have lightning hit to see what is really happening. Although the lightning pushed work on the film back, it allowed me to stay in Waco and finish up work on it. It also worked out that I got to show the film to Kyle's parents who were in town on the exact day that I finished work on it. And, after all was said and done, I got to replace my older computer with a new editing suite that will further my work and creativity in the future. Sometimes it takes a lightning strike to make you stop and realize the big picture.

Showing the film Thursday afternoon to Kyle's parents was honestly one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. I've had experience with the death of my Grandmother while I was in high school, but Kyle's death was completely different. While my grandmother was 90, Kyle, a personal friend of mine, was 33. So, having to show his parent's their own son's memorial video was extremely hard. It's one thing when you are working on a project out in the field, having a good time filming, editing, etc.... but meeting them face to face put the concept into more of a reality: the reality that their own son died before they will. I can't imagine how hard this must be. It was hard enough for me just sitting there watching them watch the film about their own son. It was completely heartbreaking. Even though I have seen the film a million times, that one showing brought a new meaning to all the work that was done. And at the same time, it almost was a sense of closure. Closure to a full semester of work, and closure for the grieving process that I've dealt with since his death. It also brought on a new feeling- peace, and a sense of a new stage of my life. With the completion of the film and this semester, I will be traveling to Mexico for the month of June, and then off to living in L.A. in the fall for internship work / working on finding a job in film.

Kyle's parents were probably some of the nicest people that I've met. They almost seemed like they were my grandparents- when I met them it was like I had already known them for a while. In fact, Kyle's whole family is composed of some of the nicest people that I have ever met. They just seem like real, quality people- who have been through a lot with this whole thing. But the thing that got me the most was just hugging Mrs. Lake after the film. She started crying, and I was really trying to hold my composure, but I just couldn't. I lost it completely when she started thanking me for all the time that everyone involved in the project had put into it. I will never forget that moment. It was so hard just to be there and not to be overwhelmed with a great sense of sadness. But at the same time, the feeling of closure to everything rose up again. It felt to good just to be with Kyle's family, including Jen, Jen's mother, and Avery. I will always cherish getting to know them.

It was really hard for me to drive away from the house and focus on driving. It was just one of those moments in life that had a great impact on me. It was also one of those drives that again brought closure to the whole process.

So, needless to say, the film is completed. The music is done, the editing is done, the compressing is done, and the DVD is pretty much almost done. I leave for Mexico for the month of June, and am passing all the work involved with promotion and keeping things running down to Brendon and Kyle Osburn for the month of June. Thanks again to all those who have pre-ordered and to all of those who have been keeping up with the film through the entire process. Brendon will be working on getting the DVDs out to DVD replication this week. Hopefully our investor will come through for this first batch of DVDs. So, be looking to start receiving DVDs during early June. They are a little late getting out, mainly due just to things being so crazy.

We will be posting previews of the film this week onto the website and other venues, so watch out for those. Our next phase is advertising, getting the word out, and organizing select screenings during the summer and into August. We will probably organize a big screening for the Baylor community at UBC sometime in August. Other screening are being planned and set up around the country. If you are interested or have any ideas for screenings, contact Brendon_Lankford@baylor.edu or Kyle_Osburn@baylor.edu during the month of June. I should have web access in Mexico, but no guarantees. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email any of us. Thanks for reading this really long post.